


A Night in Rivendell

by Anonymonimus



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Comedy, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Fluff and Smut, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Porn, Shameless Smut, Smut, What Was I Thinking?, What am I doing with my life?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-17
Updated: 2013-10-17
Packaged: 2017-12-29 17:11:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1007953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymonimus/pseuds/Anonymonimus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After overhearing a conversation between Gandalf and Elrond about the gold sickness running through the Durin bloodline, Bilbo is forced to drink away Thorin's problems in his company. Drunken shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Night in Rivendell

**Author's Note:**

> **So I was bored, I had just read about some of the extended scenes of the Hobbit and then this happened.**
> 
> **I cannot be blamed.**
> 
> **This is a way for me to procrastinate some more in doing my Uni work xP**
> 
> **ENJOY!**
> 
> * * *

Rivendell was beautiful at night. The moonlight shined brightly upon Elrond's homely home illuminating everything perfectly for there were no clouds obstructing the light's path. Bilbo sat outdoors, just out of sight from the company but not entirely out of earshot. Nonetheless, their rowdiness was nary a bother to him in that instant for the beauty of the Elven home was too captivating to let anything else be a bother. And in that moment of amazement and loneliness, Bilbo sighed heavily to himself, wondering if it was too late to leave the quest. The company surely wasn't fond of him and Thorin seemed to be the one who reprimanded his presence the most, barely even trying to tolerate him or get to know him.

 _The Elves are kind..._ Bilbo thought to himself as his gaze shifted towards the moon, _I wonder if they would allow me to stay with them for a while rather than continue to Erebor..._

He turned away from the glowing sphere in the sky and looked around him, admiring the delicate craft of Elven architecture and the ethereal gleam of lantern light reflecting the perfectly polished wood. Rivendell truly was a sight to behold and nothing he had read about it in his books could compare to its actual elegance.

But his thoughts of admiration were cut short when the familiar voice of Gandalf caught his attention. He stood from where he sat and, for an unknown reason, hid in a staircase shrouded in darkness. He thought about how idiotic it had been of him to hide away like a thief from his friend and kind host but, as they approached and the words they spoke became clearer, it had seemed that he had unknowingly made the right decision. Gandalf and Elrond spoke of Thorin and both seemed to be attacking him even though it almost seemed like the wizard was defending him.

"If Thorin were to successfully retake Erebor," Gandalf argued, "It would give us a stronghold in the East to battle with our rising enemy."

"As much as I do agree with you," Elrond said, "Not only is there no definite proof that peace is coming to an end, but I wouldn't consider Thorin as the King needed to control a useful stronghold in the East. Surely, you haven't forgotten of the illness that runs through his family, have you?"

"Thorin is different," Gandalf insisted, "And either way, what would there be to fear if he were ever to succumb to it? He would have all the gold he desires and more. Why would he refuse us the help we need?"

"I've seen Thror at the peak of his gold madness," Elrond stated, "Just before the dragon attacked, I went to visit him and he all but threw me out of his home within the first hour of my arrival. He was convinced that I wished to steal his gold from him regardless of my expressing that I had no such interest in his riches. The gold sickness comes with many more problems, Gandalf. Thror was paranoid, agitated, and aggressive because greed had gotten the better of him. I believe Thorin Oakenshield is no different."

"Regardless, the stronghold is essential!" Gandalf persisted, "When evil arises, he will have no choice but to aid us!"

"Dwarves aren't the most giving people," Elrond reminded, "Your Hobbit can attest to that."

Bilbo jolted in surprise at the mention of him.

"As for your predictions of upcoming evil," Elrond continued, and their argument seemed to be coming to a close, "There has been no concrete proof to solidify your theory. Saruman would be strongly displeased by any of us if we took it upon ourselves to act. It is not up to us to decide of the fate of Men. I fear that the age of Elves is behind us and we will soon lose our place in Middle Earth."

And, as such, they walked off again, but in silence. Bilbo wasn't entirely sure of having understood everything he had heard but, one thing was for sure, Gandalf hadn't decided to help the Dwarves as an act of spontaneous generosity. He should have known that someone as powerful as he would have ulterior motives to aiding Thorin and his company. Nonetheless, that was that and Bilbo had no particular intention of telling anyone of what he had heard. He turned his heels to return to the company when he collided with someone who had managed to sneak up behind him.

"O-oh, sorry-" Bilbo began but froze upon seeing Thorin.

The King's face, for once, betrayed the emotion which he felt in that instant. Bilbo wondered how much he had heard of the conversation but the look of hurt, anger, and, oddly enough, fear, was enough to deduce that Thorin had heard enough. And not knowing what to do, Bilbo merely stood in place, gaping at Thorin whose eyes were fixated on the spot where Gandalf and Elrond spoke of his _curse._ Though he never felt truly anything else but irritation and nervousness around Thorin, Bilbo suddenly begun to pity him.

_All he wants to do is go home..._

"T-Thorin..." Bilbo stuttered uncomfortably, snapping the Dwarf King out of his trance, "Are you... are you alright?"

Thorin stared at him quietly for a moment, speechless until a melancholic smile appeared on his face, "What do you think, Burglar?" he returned.

"How much did you hear...?" Bilbo asked, hoping to be able to create an alternative meaning for the conversation that had recently taken place.

"Enough to know that neither Elrond nor Gandalf are keen to see me returned to my throne." Thorin stated, and his smile suddenly dropped as his eyes returned to where the two stood. All emotion in his eyes suddenly seem to disappear and Thorin's typical brooding expression returned as prominent as ever, but hurt still lingered. He took a hold of Bilbo's wrist and dragged him away, "Come," he said though it was more of an order than anything, "Drink with me."

Though Bilbo wasn't entirely sure that drinking was, currently, a good idea, it didn't seem like he had much of a choice. They stumbled into the company's bonfire circle and Bilbo was forced to carry seven jugs of wine while Thorin carried two cups and a casket. They quickly left the company without a word of explanation but they had hardly been noticed what with the other Dwarves already being mildly drunk but also very concentrated on their odd shenanigans.

Thorin led the way to an Elvish room a building away from where the company seemed intent on sleeping. The room had been offered to him by Elrond and, oddly enough, he had taken it, but it all seemed to work out as they now had the privacy of getting as drunk as Thorin desired as to drown his pain in alcohol. Thorin placed the casket on the ground, at the foot of the large bed, and helped Bilbo place the jugs next to it without spilling any wine. Then, he filled both cups and forced one into Bilbo's hands before drinking his own hastily. Bilbo merely stared at him in confusion and uneasiness as Thorin filled his cup again.

"Drink." He commanded, waiting for Bilbo to drink before downing his again.

Bilbo repetitively stared at Thorin and then at his drink for a few seconds before deciding on simply obeying. He drank the entire content but couldn't help but make a face at the potent bitter taste of the alcohol burning his throat. Thorin wordlessly filled his cup again and began to drink his own, expecting Bilbo to do the same once he recovered from the sudden intake of the intoxicating beverage.

"Thorin..." Bilbo tried as he filled his cup, "I don't think drinking now is a good idea..."

"And why's that, Burglar?" Thorin asked, his words already beginning to slur.

"Because you're upset." Bilbo said before drinking and paused to speak again only once half of his cup was emptied, "And drowning your sadness in wine isn't a very good idea."

"I would use ale as well but it seems that the Elves are too _refined_ for that." Thorin growled condescendingly then drank again. He then emptied the rest of what was in the first jug into Bilbo's cup before tossing it to the other end of the room.

"Thorin," Bilbo insisted, and he gently placed his hand on Thorin's arm as to keep him from drinking any more, "I understand how you feel, but this isn't going to solve or help with anything."

"How could you possibly know how I feel?" Thorin spat as he glared at Bilbo.

"I never said I _know_ how you feel," Bilbo corrected him, unhappy with the sudden burst of anger, "I said I _understand_ it."

"There's hardly a difference." Thorin stated.

"But there is." Bilbo insisted, "Knowing would entail that I've also lived what you're going through when I haven't; understanding means that I can imagine how you feel because I've lived something similar."

"Have you?" Thorin asked curiously, but bitterness returned in an instant, "How could you live through any meaningful hardship when you live in the biggest home of your community and have food in abundance?"

"Being rich doesn't mean being free of problems, I thought you would know that out of everyone, being a King and all." Bilbo snapped.

"King." Thorin repeated with contempt, "King of what? King of nothing. I have no home, no land, no people to rule over. How can I be a King?"

Bilbo sighed heavily and took a large gulp of wine before speaking to Thorin again, "Unless Smaug the Terrible has usurped your throne, you're still a King, only in exile." Bilbo said, and then smirked as he had a funny thought, "I've honestly never heard any tale of a dragon governing an entire kingdom. That would be a first, wouldn't it?"

Whether it was because the thought was actually funny or the wine's potency was taking its effect, Thorin laughed. "I suppose it would." he agreed, a small smile on his face, "But I do reckon he too would be King of nothing in short notice what with devouring his subjects as to keep himself fed."

"That's terrible!" Bilbo laughed, and he suddenly started to feel light headed.

And they laughed together for a moment until it died out and silence invaded the room again. They both quietly drank from their cups before Thorin spoke again. "So what hardships has a wealthy Hobbit such as yourself have to overcome?" he asked quietly this time.

"Well the death of my parents is the first one that comes to mind," Bilbo stated, "But it was following the death of my mother that things became difficult for me, not only because I missed her but also because there was an image she set about herself and it wasn't entirely respectable. You see, it's poorly seen for Hobbits to leave on adventures and my mother had done just so before marrying my father. She was never considered respectable again. And due to the grief I harboured with her passing, I was given a hard time by all the other Hobbits who thought I was also going to go on an adventure. It's a horrible thing, really. I was mourning the loss of my mother and the others merely added to the struggle of finding happiness again by barking obscenities at me. And all of this was because I was my mother's child which, for some reason, ultimately meant I would break social custom."

"But you eventually did." Thorin stated, "You've left your home and now you're in Rivendell."

"I suppose I am," Bilbo smiled, "But, unlike my mother, I did it much later than she and it wasn't entirely of my own free will. Nevertheless, I understand how it feels to be condescended by others for simply being related or the child of a person who was given a bad reputation. It's not because your grandfather and father went mad that you will too, Thorin. Your lineage doesn't decide who you're going to be, you do."

"Finer words have yet to be spoken, Burglar," Thorin smiled and raised his cup, "Let us drink to that."

Their cups clanked and drank avidly until there was no more wine left and had to refill again. By then the alcohol had begun to take its effect and both had difficulty speaking without slurring and forming concrete thoughts. They had somehow returned to the hypothetical scenario of a blood thirsty dragon attempting to govern a kingdom of its food and both couldn't stop laughing at the absurd thought of it. Bilbo nearly found himself crying what with all the laughing which only intensified it and Thorin nearly choked on the wine he was drinking precisely because he couldn't stop laughing.

But as they drank, their emotions changed as the alcohol took over their bodies. Bilbo suddenly exploded into a fit of tears and began lamenting over the fact that the jug of wine Thorin had first thrown had stained the carpet and that the Elves would get mad at their negligence. To reassure Bilbo and hide the stain, Thorin had gotten the idea to pour more wine on the carpet so as to have all of it become of the same colour, which, somehow, succeeded in ending Bilbo's fit of tears. But once the Hobbit did stop crying, he realised that the now purple-like carpet seemed out of place and that they made to make more things in the room of the same colour so as to have it fit in. Thus they began throwing wine around the room, painting white surfaces purple and bright red until Thorin accidentally splashed Bilbo and the redecoration escalated into a wine-battle.

Of course, the wine-battle was short lived what with the two being barely able to stand or walk without tripping over nothing. They landed next to each other and were quiet for a short moment before laughing loudly. Bilbo then rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling pensively. "You know..." he admitted as Thorin did the same but quickly got distracted by Bilbo's hairy feet, "I don't quite remember what we were upset about..."

"We were upset?" Thorin asked, poking at Bilbo's peculiar feet. "I can't say I remember...I feel quite happy at the moment..."

"Me too..." Bilbo smiled and suddenly his heart began to beat quickly in his chest and his face heated as a blush formed on his cheeks. He sat up and looked at Thorin who had resumed staring at the ceiling. And in that moment, he couldn't help but admire the Dwarf King's handsome features.

"What is it?" Thorin asked upon noticing Bilbo's staring.

Rather than answer him or say anything, Bilbo mindlessly leaned closer to Thorin and pressed his lips over his. He then pulled away slowly and it had taken him a minute to realise what he had done and feel incredibly embarrassed about it. "S-sorry!" He stuttered, "I- uhh... I-I'm thirsty, how about you?" he asked nervously as he crawled quickly to the casket of wine and poured himself a cup of it again.

Thorin curiously watched him drink all of it nervously before moving closer to him. He pulled Bilbo by the collar of his shirt, inches from his face and stared at him quietly before taking the initiative and kissing him. Bilbo shuddered at the feeling of Thorin's lips against his own and moaned as his tongue slipped into his mouth and drunkenly deepened the kiss. The Dwarf King rolled on his back and pulled Bilbo above him as they continued to kiss, Bilbo moaning frequently what with the wonderful sensation of their tongues rubbing together and the delicious brief bites at his lower lip. When they finally broke their contact, panting heavily, Bilbo's lips were bruised dark red and his eyes were suddenly filled with lust. He sat upright, not entirely aware that he was straddling Thorin, and stared down at him pensively.

"I don't know about you," Bilbo said with a slur and a smile, "But I'm feeling quite horny."

"Master Burglar," Thorin grinned, slipping his hands onto Bilbo's thighs, "What a naughty thing that is to say..."

And quickly, they resumed their kiss with more lust than either of them knew what to do. Thorin quickly switched their positions, pinning Bilbo to the ground as the kissed violently while undressing themselves. Thorin's hands glided over Bilbo's utterly hairless chest and teased at his nipples while his mouth moved to attacking his neck. He bit and sucked on a particularly sensitive area, and left a dark mark, encouraged by the Hobbit's languorous moans. Bilbo arched into Thorin's touch, encouraging the blissful contact as he knitted his fingers through his long strands of black hair.

"Thorin..." Bilbo breathed desperately and wiggled his hips as to finish the sentence he could no longer find the words to form.

Thorin understood perfectly what it was Bilbo desired; he pulled off his own shirt, discarding it over the half empty casket of wine, and quickly pulled off Bilbo's trousers. Bilbo gasped as Thorin made quick work of his erection, teasing it with fleeting touches before licking the tip sensually and suckling on it. The groans erupting from Bilbo grew louder and needier as the desperate need for relief became unbearable. He clawed at the floor as Thorin slowly took all of his cock inside his mouth and bobbed his head rhythmically earning more moans and mewls of pleasure from Bilbo who knew no longer what to do with himself as he was overwhelmed by pleasure. Suddenly, all he saw was white as he arched his back and cried in pleasure as he spilled his seeds into Thorin's mouth and then laid limply on the wine stained floor, breathing heavily. He was a bit embarrassed by the fact that he had come so quickly but Thorin barely gave him time to ponder on the thought.

He quickly spat out the cum onto his hand and coated his fingers as evenly as possible before pushing the first one into Bilbo's entrance, catching him by surprise. The Hobbit squeaked and winced in slight pain but it was quickly dissipated as Thorin engaged him in another needy kiss all the while stretching him. Before he knew Bilbo knew it, Thorin had entered all three fingers within him and were thrusting them in and out and a very rapid pace, nearly causing him to cum again. However, Thorin stopped before it could come to that, not thinking it fair that Bilbo had climaxed almost twice already and he had yet to do it once. Nonetheless, Bilbo did whine at the loss of pleasure for a brief period of time.

"Take me," he begged, pecking Thorin's lips with a kiss, "I'm going insane...I need you."

"Gladly." Thorin responded as he took off his trousers and probed the tip of his cock at Bilbo's stretched entrance.

Bilbo whined silently and screwed his eyes shut as to brace himself for the initial pain of being penetrated. Thorin quickly spat on his cock and spread his saliva over it before pushing into Bilbo as to lubricate himself albeit not effectively. The pain was very present and though Thorin wanted nothing more than to pound into Bilbo's tight ass, he waited a moment for the Hobbit to adjust.

"You feel so wonderful..." he whispered into his ear.

"Nngh..." Bilbo inaudibly responded, wiggling his hips in an attempt to urge Thorin to begin moving.

The latter was only too happy to oblige. He began slowly, not wanting to pain Bilbo for he was still aware that the pain was still prominent for him. But when the moans started becoming more urgent and louder, overwhelmed with the purest of bliss, he quickly augmented in speed and depth. Bilbo cried out loudly, gripping at Thorin's back as he met each of the powerful thrusts as best he could. His body trembled with the most powerful of sinful pleasures and nothing other than Thorin's name could pass his lips as he moaned frantically. Finally, a familiar tightening of the stomach alerted Bilbo that he would soon be climaxing but Thorin urged him to hold it in for as long as he could.

"Together..." he groaned, "Let's do it together..."

And so Bilbo tried as best as he could, but his will power was fading quickly. He dug his nails into Thorin's back, accidentally leaving red marks that would remain for at least a week, before crying out and coming all over both of their stomach. Thorin joined him in the beautiful sensation of bliss a few thrusts later. They kissed one last time before falling asleep over each other.

* * *

The next morning, Bilbo woke up with a nasty headache on a wine stained bed. He had no memory of the previous night save for carrying many jugs of wine and following Thorin to somewhere. _Speaking of Thorin..._ Bilbo thought to himself as he shielded his eyes from the light coming from the window, _Where is he...?_ But Bilbo was far too tired at the moment to conduct a rapid search or even look around the room to find the Dwarf King. Instead, he closed his eyes and snuggled to the warm mass lying next to him. He sighed in content as an arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer until Bilbo's eyes shot open. He slowly found Thorin's face inches from his and stared at him in shock as the realization that they were both naked dawned upon him.

Unable to contain his surprise, Bilbo screamed and accidentally kicked Thorin in a panicked attempted to escape the bed. In the process of such manic flailing, Thorin awoke with a startle and fell out of the bed, hitting his head against the ground. He groaned in pain as he slowly stood, groggy and disoriented by the sudden commotion which only worsened when Bilbo shrieked again.

"Shut up!" Thorin growled as he held his aching head, "Why are you screaming so much, Burglar?"

Bilbo pulled the covers he had dragged with him higher to his chest as his face became crimson, "W-why are you naked!?" he asked, his voice trembling.

"Nak-" Thorin paused and looked at himself, blushing in embarrassment which he quickly converted to anger. "Me!?" He snapped defensively as he ripped another cover from the bed to hide himself, "Why are _you_ naked!?"

"I-I don't know!" Bilbo stated agitatedly.

And suddenly, a sharp pain from his behind made him tumble to his knees. Thorin hurried to his side, "Are you alright?" he asked, concerned.

"I-I don't..." But Bilbo never finished his sentence for he was interrupted by a bizarre sensation. He almost felt as though liquid was running down his thighs and when he scooped some with the tip of his fingers to see what it was, he froze stiff and colour drained from his face.

"What...what is it...?" Thorin asked, confused and worried.

"Y-you...you..." Bilbo stuttered, but the anger that abruptly welled inside of him made him spit it out, "You _came_ inside _me!_ Y-you _fucked_ me!"

"What!?" Thorin snapped, "I don't remember doing such a thing!"

"Well I couldn't have bloody done it myself!" Bilbo hissed.

Suddenly, the door opened and in came a startled Elf who gaped at the state of the wine covered room before becoming disturbed by the two naked creatures only covered by a stained blanket. "What the bloody hell...?"

"I am never drinking with you _ever_ again." Bilbo declared.


End file.
